Kind of a vent?

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The same thought keeps twisting around in my head over and over again

The same thought keeps twisting around in my head over and over again "What's after this?" Am I going to die alone? Am I really going to get the job I want and be happy. What if I fuck everything up like I've done so many times before..Idk I've been with a lot of people and all of them have ended tragically so I guess only time will tell :/ is there really any point in me kicking to reach the surface if it always ends the same way? Maybe I should just give up I mean it's not like anybody is counting on me to "keep going" The loneliness is getting too much to bear

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